True but thats because hes a fetus.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
