...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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