He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
