But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize