Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
