hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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