Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
