they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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