somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Come see our sink grown plant.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize