Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
