i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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