I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
