I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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