is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
