Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
