I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
