umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
