Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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