totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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