The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
