I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
