I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
