We won't sleep together?
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
