I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
