even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
