WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
