i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize