just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Do vagina's smell?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize