he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
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I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
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I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize