actually, I'm a sock model
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
