pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Found your dick twin last night
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize