I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.