Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor