Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas