I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions