areolas are like halos for boobs.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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