Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
