I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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