he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
