the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you will always have a special place in my vag
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
