My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
