ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
