You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
