There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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