he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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