so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I love having hate sex.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
