there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
