she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
