My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
just found out that she named her cat after me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
