I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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