It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Come see our sink grown plant.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
