Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
wow bdsm is so cute
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
