I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
