We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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