Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
