garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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