i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
