bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
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he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
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It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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