she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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