I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize