Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She needs sedatives and a leash
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
