with your own penis?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
