is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
