I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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