Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
