I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
